How I solved the problem...
It was a Sunday morning at my work, I was working as a pizza delivery person and I would deliver pizza on my red moped. I was going out to deliver a few pizzas around the neighbourhood, I come across a red light and stop wounder to myself "There is always something happening to every single person in the world".
I come to a stop at a second red light seeing the group of girls, And a mother and her baby walk past and then a little kid trying to run to cross but doesn't make it so he turns around to wait until it's safe to cross the road again. The light turns green again, I speed off noticing an old man sitting on the sidewalk with his walking stick and two of the same trucks driving past me. All of sudden I hear a riotous noise out of nowhere sounding like someone had crashed, Boom
I teleport back in time watching the group the girls and the mother and the kid that turned around halfway then the light turns green I speed off again wondering somethings bads about to happen.
I pass the same old guy and then I watch the first green truck go by then I watch the second go by but then my eye catches the driver of the second truck fast asleep I quickly turn around in panic I speed up to drivers window yelling"WAKE UP, WAKE UP ALREADY" The knockout driver lets go of the steering wheel then the big heavy truck starts to weave left to right then I try to smash the window open but it was too late. I crashed head-on going over my handlebars In mid-air, of my crash, the time slows down and I'm saying to my self "why did I try to become a hero". I felt like I was the
biggest failure ever...
Next day I woke up in the hospital, I look right and I see my good friend Driaan beside me just steering at me, I jolt up steering right back saying "Umm I know I was dumb to interfere"... To be continued
Ansh, this is great!
ReplyDeleteThe beginning of your story becomes interesting with the thought at the end of the paragraph.
Using onomatopoeia (word sounds) like "boom" is good to see.
You have some dialogue. It's great that you used "yelling" instead of "said"
I think you could develop the ending further. You can end it around here if you like, but add a bit more to detail to the scene. Maybe write about the emotions you feel and include a simile. "I felt like ____" or "I felt as if..."